Josh has had quite an eventful week this last week. We've had High's and Low's, happiness and tears, laughter and screaming, proud and disappointed, every emotion possible has happened.

Let's start with the proud. Last Friday, right before bath time, Josh did his acrobatic climb up to the toilet. I'd film this and post it because it is so funny, but I'm afraid I'd get in trouble for child porn or something. Anyway, the way he scales the toilet and balances on the lid, then in one quick motion, drops 'into position' is something to see. He's been doing this for a while and peeing before getting into the tub. We haven't started 'potty training' yet, because several other 'signs' you are supposed to watch for haven't happened. But he likes to take pees before bath, and also likes to falsely declare that he is going to poop. This in itself is pretty funny as he starts grunting and groaning, then with a cheer, "No Poop?!" as if surprised and happy at the same time that nothing came out from all his 'work'.

Well, tonight was going to be different. I was actually in the kitchen as Ann volunteered to get in the tub with the kids when I heard the exclamation from Ann, "Terry, I think Josh pooped! Come in here." So missing out on the surely 'dramatic performance' Josh put on the toilet, I came in and saw that Josh indeed did poop (rather large too :S). He was so pumped about it. He couldn't stop telling everyone he has seen. Anyone that will listen, Josh will enthusiastically explain to them how he "had a big load on the toliet, yep."

Moving on to the tears. The next day after his poop accomplishment, Josh woke up in the middle of the night crying. This is not uncommon enough to get me to concerned, but as I got out of bed and walked downstairs towards his room, all of a sudden, the crying turned into screaming. I picked up the pace getting to his room, expecting to see him 'hurt' in his bed somehow (bumping his head on something was my first thought). I turned on the lights, and Josh was sitting there with a shocked look on his face, the kind you see in cheesy 'thriller' movies where the person has blood all over their hands and face but in such a state of shock that they look like they 'don't know how it got there'. Well, that was the exact look Josh had, but instead of blood, it was puke all over. As I took down the crib gate and reached for Josh to console him, what do I get for this 'caring gesture'? He proceeds to puke again all over me and him as I rush him to the bathroom. Now Josh was really crying as this was the first time he had really puked and realized, if you want to call it that, what was going on. I'm sure it was still pretty scary, but he only threw up once really before, and that was at about 1.5 years old.

When I was in the bathroom, I quickly stripped Josh out of his PJs and I could tell that Josh was going to puke again and I held him over the toilet and had him puke in there. He threw up a bit more, then was 'finished'. I stood him up and he was trembling and covered in vomit. It was everwhere, in his hair, ears, nose, face, chest...everywhere. I told him we had to shower off and told him to wait for me. I started the shower and quickly went and got his blankets and anything else with vomit on it from his room and threw it in the laundry room. We took a shower together and he was pretty lethargic and miserable. By now, Ann came down to see why the shower was running and I told her what happened. We finished the shower, then took Josh up into our bed to lay down for a while. Almost immediately after laying down, Josh wanted to go down to his bed instead and used his sure-fire phrase "Snuggle me Daddy" to make sure I stayed with him. Of course I was going to tonight. The clock read 3:30 or so and it had been about 25 minutes since he had woken up. I told Josh that you only puke in the toliet and to let me know if he has to puke. Not more than five minutes later, Josh tells me that he has to puke and we go into the bathroom and low and behold he vomitted in the toilet. I was quite impressed with how mature/brave he was about telling me in time to get to the toilet, more than I can say for some of our family members ;)

Well, this was just the beginning. We moved out to the couch and with Josh sitting in my lap, we started to watch Polar Express (Josh's new favorite movie). Over the next 3 hours, we watched Polar Express back to back and Josh probably puked about 8 more times. Again, the most impressive part to me is that every time Josh told me when he had to vomit and we went into the bathroom and did it in the toilet. Even in the last few times it was quite an internal conflict with Josh. He'd tell me he had to puke, and when we walked into the bathroom he'd start crying because he was sick of puking and didn't want to, but when the 'moment of truth' came he'd always lean over the toilet. Poor little bugger. And every time he puked, even if just a couple spit ups of flem, he wanted to get into the shower to clean off. It was hard to convince him through all his tears that we didn't need to shower every time, but he'd always come to an understanding.

So we finally got to bed about 6:45 or so, and Josh woke back up at 7:40, so he didn't get a ton of sleep. Of course this night was one of the first nights Audrey didn't wake up every three hours. She only got up once! (too bad Josh had us up all morning) You know, as parents, you never can win can you?!

Changing the emotion to disappointment, last night, Josh got into a bit of trouble. I think he's still recovering from being sick and is more tired than usual, of course leading to misbehaving. Anyway, bathtime was ending and I had Audrey in her room putting on lotion and PJs. I heard Mom trying to get Josh to get out of the tub and he wasn't listening. It went back a forth a couple times, then Ann gave Josh the 'count to three' warning. Usually by three, Josh is 'snapping to it' regarding anything that he is being warned about but not tonight. So Ann resorted to, "I'm going to get your Dad." She came in and told me to 'deal' with him, and I handed over Audrey to Ann. When I walked in the bathroom, Josh was face down in the tub (no water of course) and didn't see me walk in, which would make me all the more effective.

"GET UP RIGHT NOW!" I boomed in my 'mad' voice. Josh flinched/jumped so much that he almost hit the ceiling. "WHEN MOM TELLS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, YOU DO!" This is where the challenge comes. I can easily discipline in my 'mad' voice, but I need to make sure not to laugh when Josh is reacting to it. By this time, Josh is sheepishly, fumbling his way out of the bathtub. Trying to do it fast, while at the same time he knows he's in trouble and has a cowardly slump in his shoulders and his head is down - all contradicting his efforts to move fast. Just to get a little entertainment out of it, I boom, "HURRY UP JOSHUA!" He gets out of the tub and I wrap him up in his towel 'fast' and with a 'pissed off look' and refuse to look at Josh in the eyes. I do this because Josh 'loves' interaction and chatting, so I think (I'm probably wrong) by doing this, I'm taking away something he likes and he knows he is being punished.

"I want to listen now..." Josh manages to mumble is the humblest of voices.

"BE QUIET! YOU ARE BEING BAD! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU TALK!" I pick him up and we 'storm' out to the kitchen and as I set him on the island, "YOU SIT THERE AND BE QUIET, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR A PEEP!" Josh covers up his face with his hands and towel and fights back the tears. I prepare his bottle and by now, it almost time to 'make up'. I pick him up and set him on the floor, "YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO MOMMY! GO SAY IT AND HURRY UP!" Josh takes off sprinting so fast his towel falls off, so I see his little tush bouncing towards Ann.

"Sorry Mommy for not listening" Josh says in his most tender voice. Ann gives him a big hug, then he comes running back to me to get approval too. "I wanna listen now!" He must have told me he wanted to listen and that he was sorry about 15 times while I put on his PJs and lotion. Making up with him is so much fun because all he wants, is for us to love him and he'll do anything to get it (of course he'll always have it and doesn't even realize that when we are 'mad' we are faking it). I don't look forward to the days when we discipline him and he 'hates' us instead :S

Note, funny thing about this was that Ann said as soon as I started 'scolding' Joshua, Audrey perked right up and was looking around all nervous. Trying to figure out what was making her normally 'nice' Dad soooo mad. She already knows the tone of my 'mad' voice and Ann said she was pretty attentitive and even didn't do her Royce Gracie routine during the bedtime ritual. Maybe I should 'scold' her during that to get her to calm down ;)

Finally, we'll finish with proud again since that is what Josh makes us all the time. This morning, Josh had to go to the dentist to 'get his tooth fixed'. He was pretty excited about it since he loves drills and I told them they would use a drill to fix his teeth. I don't think he quite understood what was going to happen ;) Let's back up a bit, we took him in about a month ago, because we noticed a 'black spot' when we were brushing his teeth that we couldn't get clean. While he was in there he was extremely good. A dentist and two dental assistants were in the room and were very impressed with how he sat still and listened to what he was told to do. Of course this makes any parent proud. So today, I wasn't quite sure how it was going to go given that they need to give him 'Laughing Gas' (I'm not even going to try and spell the real gas name), and then would proceed to drill his tooth.

We got called back and Josh immediately morphed into his 'listening' mode. I can tell when he does this by the way he looks at people - almost with a hint of timidness, but more like sincerity - and just moves a little more slowly in general. Anyway, they placed him in the chair and the assistant started chatting him up (which of course is Josh's favorite thing to do). They have flat screen TVs at our dentists (I don't think dentists make enough money <sarcasm> so they turned on the Doodle-bops and Josh was pretty pumped. After 10-15 minutes, the dentist came in so it was time to give Josh the gas. Of course the mask was too big and that was an issue, but Josh was a trooper sitting still and doing what they asked. Even when the mask would slide down onto his mouth or up into his eyes, he'd just sit there waiting for someone to notice and fix it. So once the mask was positioned in the right spot for the most part (it kept falling off during 'surgery' which was annoying for Josh), Josh didn't realize that he was supposed to stop chatting. I mean he was having a blast talking about all the drills, the vacuum (the thing to suck spit/stuff out), the big flashlight (the light dentist uses), and the Doodle-bops, but as soon as they asked Josh to keep his mouth closed and breath through his mouth, that's exactly what he did.

So much so, that I was getting a bit worried - can anyone say addiction? ;) Josh had his lips pinched shut and was taking deep breaths through the mask. I was trying to watch him for any signs that the gas was taking affect, but I didn't notice any. The dentist asked how Josh was feeling only to get back his standard reply, "Goooood". But to me that meant nothing. I saw that the dentist was getting ready to start, and I thought no way in hell is this going to go down right now because I didn't think the gas was working since they had to keep adjusting the mask and it kept falling off. Well, I was very surprised. They got the drill out, asked Josh to open his mouth, and he complied. They fired up the drill and that awful sound started and I expected Josh to jump when it touched him. Maybe even exclaim one of his patented, "Ooouch! That hurts! Don't do that any more!". But Josh didn't flinch one bit. He looked like a statue. They drilled away and filled his tooth and he sat there taking it better than I probably do.

Here comes the bragging ;) Although, people who knew Josh was going to dentist are going to ask me how he did and I'll just direct them to this post. A couple assistants had walked in and out. I didn't realize what for at the time, but after the procedure, the dentist asked how old Josh was. I told him 2.5 years old and he replied, "That's amazing. I think he's our youngest patent ever and he did fantastic. I can't believe the way he sat there." Then the assistant who helped out said she'd never seen anything like it either, and the praises for Josh kept coming. The two other assistants who had walked in and out stopped Josh and I on way out and commented how impressed they were with him. They said when they saw the scheduled appointment at the beginning of the day for a child, they always expect 'screaming' to be going on and that was why they walked in. They didn't know if the dentist wasn't working yet or if the gas had knocked him out or what. But when they saw him awake and mostly alert following direction they couldn't believe it. Great job Josh! You make Mom and I look better than we deserve ;) You are definately a trooper and very well behaved little boy. I think Mom will be taking you someplace 'special' when she hears about your dentist trip today.

Josh has had quite an eventful week this last week. We've had High's and Low's, happiness and tears, laughter and screaming, proud and disappointed, every emotion possible has happened.

Let's start with the proud. Last Friday, right before bath time, Josh did his acrobatic climb up to the toilet. I'd film this and post it because it is so funny, but I'm afraid I'd get in trouble for child porn or something. Anyway, the way he scales the toilet and balances on the lid, then in one quick motion, drops 'into position' is something to see. He's been doing this for a while and peeing before getting into the tub. We haven't started 'potty training' yet, because several other 'signs' you are supposed to watch for haven't happened. But he likes to take pees before bath, and also likes to falsely declare that he is going to poop. This in itself is pretty funny as he starts grunting and groaning, then with a cheer, "No Poop?!" as if surprised and happy at the same time that nothing came out from all his 'work'.

Well, tonight was going to be different. I was actually in the kitchen as Ann volunteered to get in the tub with the kids when I heard the exclamation from Ann, "Terry, I think Josh pooped! Come in here." So missing out on the surely 'dramatic performance' Josh put on the toilet, I came in and saw that Josh indeed did poop (rather large too :S). He was so pumped about it. He couldn't stop telling everyone he has seen. Anyone that will listen, Josh will enthusiastically explain to them how he "had a big load on the toliet, yep."

Moving on to the tears. The next day after his poop accomplishment, Josh woke up in the middle of the night crying. This is not uncommon enough to get me to concerned, but as I got out of bed and walked downstairs towards his room, all of a sudden, the crying turned into screaming. I picked up the pace getting to his room, expecting to see him 'hurt' in his bed somehow (bumping his head on something was my first thought). I turned on the lights, and Josh was sitting there with a shocked look on his face, the kind you see in cheesy 'thriller' movies where the person has blood all over their hands and face but in such a state of shock that they look like they 'don't know how it got there'. Well, that was the exact look Josh had, but instead of blood, it was puke all over. As I took down the crib gate and reached for Josh to console him, what do I get for this 'caring gesture'? He proceeds to puke again all over me and him as I rush him to the bathroom. Now Josh was really crying as this was the first time he had really puked and realized, if you want to call it that, what was going on. I'm sure it was still pretty scary, but he only threw up once really before, and that was at about 1.5 years old.

When I was in the bathroom, I quickly stripped Josh out of his PJs and I could tell that Josh was going to puke again and I held him over the toilet and had him puke in there. He threw up a bit more, then was 'finished'. I stood him up and he was trembling and covered in vomit. It was everwhere, in his hair, ears, nose, face, chest...everywhere. I told him we had to shower off and told him to wait for me. I started the shower and quickly went and got his blankets and anything else with vomit on it from his room and threw it in the laundry room. We took a shower together and he was pretty lethargic and miserable. By now, Ann came down to see why the shower was running and I told her what happened. We finished the shower, then took Josh up into our bed to lay down for a while. Almost immediately after laying down, Josh wanted to go down to his bed instead and used his sure-fire phrase "Snuggle me Daddy" to make sure I stayed with him. Of course I was going to tonight. The clock read 3:30 or so and it had been about 25 minutes since he had woken up. I told Josh that you only puke in the toliet and to let me know if he has to puke. Not more than five minutes later, Josh tells me that he has to puke and we go into the bathroom and low and behold he vomitted in the toilet. I was quite impressed with how mature/brave he was about telling me in time to get to the toilet, more than I can say for some of our family members ;)

Well, this was just the beginning. We moved out to the couch and with Josh sitting in my lap, we started to watch Polar Express (Josh's new favorite movie). Over the next 3 hours, we watched Polar Express back to back and Josh probably puked about 8 more times. Again, the most impressive part to me is that every time Josh told me when he had to vomit and we went into the bathroom and did it in the toilet. Even in the last few times it was quite an internal conflict with Josh. He'd tell me he had to puke, and when we walked into the bathroom he'd start crying because he was sick of puking and didn't want to, but when the 'moment of truth' came he'd always lean over the toilet. Poor little bugger. And every time he puked, even if just a couple spit ups of flem, he wanted to get into the shower to clean off. It was hard to convince him through all his tears that we didn't need to shower every time, but he'd always come to an understanding.

So we finally got to bed about 6:45 or so, and Josh woke back up at 7:40, so he didn't get a ton of sleep. Of course this night was one of the first nights Audrey didn't wake up every three hours. She only got up once! (too bad Josh had us up all morning) You know, as parents, you never can win can you?!

Changing the emotion to disappointment, last night, Josh got into a bit of trouble. I think he's still recovering from being sick and is more tired than usual, of course leading to misbehaving. Anyway, bathtime was ending and I had Audrey in her room putting on lotion and PJs. I heard Mom trying to get Josh to get out of the tub and he wasn't listening. It went back a forth a couple times, then Ann gave Josh the 'count to three' warning. Usually by three, Josh is 'snapping to it' regarding anything that he is being warned about but not tonight. So Ann resorted to, "I'm going to get your Dad." She came in and told me to 'deal' with him, and I handed over Audrey to Ann. When I walked in the bathroom, Josh was face down in the tub (no water of course) and didn't see me walk in, which would make me all the more effective.

"GET UP RIGHT NOW!" I boomed in my 'mad' voice. Josh flinched/jumped so much that he almost hit the ceiling. "WHEN MOM TELLS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, YOU DO!" This is where the challenge comes. I can easily discipline in my 'mad' voice, but I need to make sure not to laugh when Josh is reacting to it. By this time, Josh is sheepishly, fumbling his way out of the bathtub. Trying to do it fast, while at the same time he knows he's in trouble and has a cowardly slump in his shoulders and his head is down - all contradicting his efforts to move fast. Just to get a little entertainment out of it, I boom, "HURRY UP JOSHUA!" He gets out of the tub and I wrap him up in his towel 'fast' and with a 'pissed off look' and refuse to look at Josh in the eyes. I do this because Josh 'loves' interaction and chatting, so I think (I'm probably wrong) by doing this, I'm taking away something he likes and he knows he is being punished.

"I want to listen now..." Josh manages to mumble is the humblest of voices.

"BE QUIET! YOU ARE BEING BAD! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU TALK!" I pick him up and we 'storm' out to the kitchen and as I set him on the island, "YOU SIT THERE AND BE QUIET, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR A PEEP!" Josh covers up his face with his hands and towel and fights back the tears. I prepare his bottle and by now, it almost time to 'make up'. I pick him up and set him on the floor, "YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO MOMMY! GO SAY IT AND HURRY UP!" Josh takes off sprinting so fast his towel falls off, so I see his little tush bouncing towards Ann.

"Sorry Mommy for not listening" Josh says in his most tender voice. Ann gives him a big hug, then he comes running back to me to get approval too. "I wanna listen now!" He must have told me he wanted to listen and that he was sorry about 15 times while I put on his PJs and lotion. Making up with him is so much fun because all he wants, is for us to love him and he'll do anything to get it (of course he'll always have it and doesn't even realize that when we are 'mad' we are faking it). I don't look forward to the days when we discipline him and he 'hates' us instead :S

Note, funny thing about this was that Ann said as soon as I started 'scolding' Joshua, Audrey perked right up and was looking around all nervous. Trying to figure out what was making her normally 'nice' Dad soooo mad. She already knows the tone of my 'mad' voice and Ann said she was pretty attentitive and even didn't do her Royce Gracie routine during the bedtime ritual. Maybe I should 'scold' her during that to get her to calm down ;)

Finally, we'll finish with proud again since that is what Josh makes us all the time. This morning, Josh had to go to the dentist to 'get his tooth fixed'. He was pretty excited about it since he loves drills and I told them they would use a drill to fix his teeth. I don't think he quite understood what was going to happen ;) Let's back up a bit, we took him in about a month ago, because we noticed a 'black spot' when we were brushing his teeth that we couldn't get clean. While he was in there he was extremely good. A dentist and two dental assistants were in the room and were very impressed with how he sat still and listened to what he was told to do. Of course this makes any parent proud. So today, I wasn't quite sure how it was going to go given that they need to give him 'Laughing Gas' (I'm not even going to try and spell the real gas name), and then would proceed to drill his tooth.

We got called back and Josh immediately morphed into his 'listening' mode. I can tell when he does this by the way he looks at people - almost with a hint of timidness, but more like sincerity - and just moves a little more slowly in general. Anyway, they placed him in the chair and the assistant started chatting him up (which of course is Josh's favorite thing to do). They have flat screen TVs at our dentists (I don't think dentists make enough money <sarcasm>) so they turned on the Doodle-bops and Josh was pretty pumped. After 10-15 minutes, the dentist came in so it was time to give Josh the gas. Of course the mask was too big and that was an issue, but Josh was a trooper sitting still and doing what they asked. Even when the mask would slide down onto his mouth or up into his eyes, he'd just sit there waiting for someone to notice and fix it. So once the mask was positioned in the right spot for the most part (it kept falling off during 'surgery' which was annoying for Josh), Josh didn't realize that he was supposed to stop chatting. I mean he was having a blast talking about all the drills, the vacuum (the thing to suck spit/stuff out), the big flashlight (the light dentist uses), and the Doodle-bops, but as soon as they asked Josh to keep his mouth closed and breath through his mouth, that's exactly what he did.

So much so, that I was getting a bit worried - can anyone say addiction? ;) Josh had his lips pinched shut and was taking deep breaths through the mask. I was trying to watch him for any signs that the gas was taking affect, but I didn't notice any. The dentist asked how Josh was feeling only to get back his standard reply, "Goooood". But to me that meant nothing. I saw that the dentist was getting ready to start, and I thought no way in hell is this going to go down right now because I didn't think the gas was working since they had to keep adjusting the mask and it kept falling off. Well, I was very surprised. They got the drill out, asked Josh to open his mouth, and he complied. They fired up the drill and that awful sound started and I expected Josh to jump when it touched him. Maybe even exclaim one of his patented, "Ooouch! That hurts! Don't do that any more!". But Josh didn't flinch one bit. He looked like a statue. They drilled away and filled his tooth and he sat there taking it better than I probably do.

Here comes the bragging ;) Although, people who knew Josh was going to dentist are going to ask me how he did and I'll just direct them to this post. A couple assistants had walked in and out. I didn't realize what for at the time, but after the procedure, the dentist asked how old Josh was. I told him 2.5 years old and he replied, "That's amazing. I think he's our youngest patent ever and he did fantastic. I can't believe the way he sat there." Then the assistant who helped out said she'd never seen anything like it either, and the praises for Josh kept coming. The two other assistants who had walked in and out stopped Josh and I on way out and commented how impressed they were with him. They said when they saw the scheduled appointment at the beginning of the day for a child, they always expect 'screaming' to be going on and that was why they walked in. They didn't know if the dentist wasn't working yet or if the gas had knocked him out or what. But when they saw him awake and mostly alert following direction they couldn't believe it. Great job Josh! You make Mom and I look better than we deserve ;) You are definately a trooper and very well behaved little boy. I think Mom will be taking you someplace 'special' when she hears about your dentist trip today.

Well, I am finally gonna bit the bullet...I mean come on, what does it take 15 minutes?! I have four or five random things that I wanted to write down about Josh and Audrey and keep putting it off. But today, I am clearing off all minor To Do Lists. That's right, just the minor ones. I have about 50 different To Do Lists: Post Its, Lists on Fridge, about 5 different emails with a subject of To Do, several different NotePad documents on my PC's desktop, a seperate 'To Do Folder' on my PCs desktop with even more documents inside, of course BTR's Task Manager website, a couple of lists from Ann, and to top it all off I have about 50 things in my head that I keep forgetting to do. But today is going to be different. I'm going to knock off as many small To Dos as I can (both work and personal) and consolidate all other lists.

August 25 - Becoming Sneaky

Well, today Josh started really pushing boundaries with Mom and Dad. He's known how to lock doors in our house for a while now, but he's never actually 'used it against us'. After getting Josh out of the tub and putting on his PJs, we headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth and comb his hair. For a while, Josh had some cold sores on his lips from licking them so much so after teeth and hair we'd always put on lip medicine (vaseline). So to continue the story, we walked towards the bathroom, and I forgot something in his changing room, so I turned around and Josh continued to the bathroom. You all know where this is going... When I came back to the bathroom, the door was closed and locked.

"Josh, unlock the door."

"I'm putting on lip medicine!" Great, I thought to myself. I'm imagining the Vaseline all over the place. In his hair, on his face, on anything he touched, etc.

"Josh, open the door now." I said a bit sterner.

"I probably putting on lip medicine," Josh said. He likes to inject 'probably' in the 'wrong' spots of his sentences but it's still funny when he says it.

"You're probably going to be in trouble if you don't open the door now!"

"Just about done," Josh says, and I invision him nodding his head up and down to make sure I know he's telling the truth.

"Open the door now Joshua!" I said in my 'mad tone' and the door promptly swung open.

"I put lip medicine on, yep." Josh said with a smile and to my surprise the 'lip medicine' was only on his lips. :) So how could I not smile at Josh when he was beaming up his big smile at me all proud of what he had done? I continued to tell him that he can never lock me out of a room with the door and he can't touch medicine when I'm not around. Josh was complying with his head nodding while starring into my eyes with the utmost sincerity, so I knew he was paying attention :)

August 30 - Becoming Clever

OK, so there is no privacy left in our house :( I must provide a little background for my behavior that I'm going to describe so I don't sound like too much of a 'freak'. For those of you who don't know, the Hennen's (and thus Ann too) have an 'open door policy' in their house. Even if a door is closed, nothings to stop someone from opening it and bursting in. If you haven't figured out what I'm talking about yet, I'm talking about being able to go to bathroom 'in private'.

So as I said, Ann still has this 'policy' in her blood. I've begged and pleaded for changes but to no avail. I guess Ann just likes to have company and visit while doing her business. Me on the other hand, I like to have doors closed, but as I mentioned, a closed door is nothing more than an obstacle for Ann when it comes to entering a bathroom - not to mention, there is no warning via knocking. So yes, in my own house, I've resorted to locking the door everytime I go to bathroom. Sounds weird I know, but what choice to I have? If I don't get into the habit of locking the door, not only do I have Ann busting in on me, but if in-laws are at our house I risk the chance of having to 'visit while going to bathroom', so I've just resorted to locking the door all the time.

So along comes Josh. Josh is the one and only person (at least up until this point) that I don't mind in the bathroom with me. Plus, he needs to see 'how to go to bathroom' so he learns. However, he doesn't always close the door when he comes/goes, so I'm left with a door wide open. So again, I've started locking the door keeping even Joshua out so that I can keep my peace of mind.

That 'peace of mind' is now gone. Josh must have seen Ann 'pick' a lock in the house; you know poking little 'pin' in the door handle to pop the lock. Now, if Josh comes to bathroom door and it is locked...

"Daddy, you locked in!"

"No Josh, I'm just going to bathroom, I'll be out in a minute," I say hoping Josh will just wait for me.

"I going to get the key!" Josh yells and he sprints off towards the kitchen. I can imagine him high stepping out there with a sense of urgency that he is going to 'Save his Dad!'. Seconds later, Josh arrives. "I got the key Daddy! Unlocking the door." I hear the pin rattling around door handle, but I'm not too nervous as I don't really think that Joshua will figure out how to pop the lock. Just as I think that, "Pop!" the lock opens, and immediately after, the door swings wide open. "Daddy, I unlocked you from bathroom!" he says, then takes off sprinting for the kitchen to put the 'key' away again. I'm left there, door wide open, hoping no one besides Josh walks by the door :S. So as I said, me being a private person, this new found skill of Josh's is definately going to put a kink in my comfort levels. I'll have to start rigging the doors with chairs or something. He's come a long way since his Click! incident though :)

September 8 - I closed my eyes, yep!

Josh has always been a great napper (note that Audrey is slowly but surely becoming good too). He usually takes a 2.5-3 hour nap every day. Every once in a while, and I mean once in a while, Josh decides he is not going to sleep. Ann usually makes him stay down there for an hour or two, but my policy is that he's going to be 'in bed' for three hours. If he wants to sleep fine, if he wants to lay there awake fine, but in either case, he's going to relax and regroup for a while. Well, today, Josh made the decision he didn't want to sleep, but he was being a little too rambunctious. That is the one thing we don't allow. Him 'playing' or 'yelling' while he's in bed. So I went in there to calm him down.

"Josh, you need to take a nap. If you don't take a nap, then we aren't going to do XXX." I don't remember what XXX was, but you get the point. "Now close your eyes," at this point Josh squints his eyes while listening to me finish, "and take a nap. I don't want to hear you anymore."

"Like this?" Josh asked in his curious voice as he squinted his eyes.

"Close them all the way and go to sleep Josh, and I don't want to hear you anymore," I said in a stern voice as I walked out of the room. It did the trick, I didn't hear Josh for the rest of his nap, but the 'entertaining' part was about him learning that sleeping meant closing his eyes. When I woke him up, the first words out of his mouth were, "I closed my eyes!" He said it while squinting and touching his eyes. "I closed my eyes and just went to schweep, yep."

It's been over a month since this happened now, but 90% of the time when we wake him up, without us inquiring, he quickly declares, "I schweep good. I closed my eyes yep!" Note that that percentage jumps up to 100% when he actually doesn't sleep. If we hear him babbling downstairs in his bed, but leave him there, after he's rested enough, and we get him up, he insists that he closed his eyes. It's all I (probably Ann too) can do not to laugh because of the sincerity in the way he's telling me that when I know he didn't, but at the same time, I don't know when I should bust out the Truth vs Lying speech ;)

September 9 - Language Skills

As anyone who has or has already gone through raising a toddler knows, the rate at which they learn the English language is fascinating. Just ask my sister Cathy, I think she still expects Josh to be a mute as she is always so impressed by how mch he talks. To this point (at least for me, I can't vouch for Mom while at home), I hadn't really made an attempt to 'teach' Josh any songs, phrases, or counting. He knew how to count to 10 or more, but I *think* he just learned it somehow ;) As I type this, I realize how silly this sounds. Obviously Mom must be working with him at home. But, I know she hadn't worked on the ABCs yet. Josh had a couple of songs in his arsenal, but not the ABCs so we decided to teach him.

Josh picked up the ABCs incredibly fast - at least I thought so. Within about 2 hours, he knew the song and it amazed me. Thinking about the song and the lyrics (letters), it'd be like learning a foreign language song. I mean think about it, Ann and I don't walk around saying the 'letters' of the alphabet in our daily conversations, so to my knowledge almost every letter was a new sound/word he was learning. Except for P, which he always gets a sly smile on his face when he sings it :) So, like I said, I was pretty impressed at how fast he learned it, but little did I know how big of a 'mistake' we made. Josh immediately became obsessed with this song. Sometimes this obsession was cute/impressive, like the time we were at a park and some kid a bit older than Josh started singing the ABCs and stopped mid-song and Josh picked right up where he left off as if they were a duet. Impressing Dad and other parents at the park. But other times, it was torture. Like when we drove up to Grandpa and Grandmas 4.5 hours away and he sang that song back to back to back to back to back - I'll quick typing, but it's suffice to say that he sang it back to back the entire way to Morris. I thought my head was going to explode, especially when he kept insisting that Mom and I sing it with him.

One of the 'language phrases' that really sticks in my head that is cute and impressive (to me) at the same time is:

There my are.

This is really supposed to be 'Here I am'. When Josh plays hide and seek, when he reveals himself, he enthusiastically blurts out this phrase. Obviously very cute, but it impresses me in the way he is trying to use different nouns, pronouns, or whatever those words are called ;) (I always slept through English class, so I didn't pick up the finer details). It's just fun to watch the 'wheels turning' as Josh constructs his sentences and puts thought into picking the correct 'tense' of a word to use.

Note, good and bad...Josh no longer says 'There my are', so he's learned the proper way to say it (good), but we no longer get that cute saying (bad) :(

September 11 - Audrey's Update

Audrey is still an extremely easy baby. She's almost always pleasant to be around (as long as Mom or Dad are present). In fact, she is so easy going that she is often 'taken for granted' I think. Actually, probably the inverse. Josh is so busy is what really causes this. Anyway, I just feel bad some times when I haven't blogged about her a lot or taken a lot of pictures, but I guess that is the downfall of a being a second child ;) As soon as she gets just a bit older, I'm sure it'll pick up as she become more mobile and active, thus 'entertaining'.

Anyway, by this date, she has two teeth and is sitting up on her own. She's so proud when she's sitting up and shows it by clapping her hands when she gets excited. It is so cute. As I write this, I realize I should have gotten some video tape of this, but I've missed my chance now. I'll have to force myself to be better ;)

We've just started messing around with solid foods, but at this point, it is purely to get Audrey used to trying to eat. She definately didn't take to it as fast as I remember Josh taking to it, but my memory could be fuzzy too. But she's getting it, even though most of the time getting food into her mouth is like breaking into Fort Knox.

So those are the few items that I've neglected to write about for a long time. I'll have another post coming shortly about Josh's trials and tribulations over the last week, and I promise to be better and posting - assuming Josh and Audrey do soemthing that is worthy of a blog ;)

If you don't know who Royce Gracie is, then you don't know the 'baddest' man on the planet in my opinion :). Well sometimes, I think Audrey has figured out how to use my DVR remote and has been watching my taped shows of The Ultimate Fighter learning 'self defense' along the way. Why do I say this? Well besides her intimidating stare-down pose to the right, let me tell you about our daily 'sparing sessions'.

It all starts after bath time. If Ann was the one in the tub that night with the kids, then I am the one getting her out of tub and ready for bed (vice versa if I'm in tub). It all starts out nice and Audrey is all smiles during 'pre-fight' while we towel off in the bathroom before heading back to her bedroom A.K.A. 'The Octagon'. As we walk in, Audrey immediately gets this 'stern' look on her face, her 'fighter stare' as I call it, as we walk toward the changing table. As if thinking to herself, "Are we really going to go through this again?" as she plans out her defensive strategies in an attempt to prevent me from a) putting A & D on her tush, b) rubbing lotion on her, c) putting her diaper on, and d) putting on her gi...er pajamas. I swear she knows exactly what is going to happen each night and has thought out the most effective defense to every possible objective I have.

Round 1: A & D Defense

As soon as I lay Audrey on her table, she immediately goes into 'rolling defense'. You'd think she'd gotten her training from some world class wrestler as she constantly struggles to keep rolling out from under my control, reaching one arm and shoulder up in unison for the sky and then the other, as if she thinks I am trying to pin her for the three count or something. Straining with every muscle in her body, she contorts her upper torso back and forth trying to rollover on her stomach. To put the A & D on, I obviously have to lift her legs and butt into the air so that I can complete phase one of this contest, but given that one of my hands has the A & D on my finger, that hand is basically 'not available' to launch an 'offensive' against Audrey, so I have to be careful. If I let my guard down, and happen to be lifting up on the wrong leg, the leg that is on the same half of her body as the arm/shoulder that are desperately reaching for the sky, Audrey will seize the moment and immediately uncoil like a wound up spring and be on her tummy in a flash, with a satisfactory smile emerging on her face at the same time. It's only round one of this match, but Audrey's defensive skills are already frustrating and tiring out Dad.

Round 2: Burt's Bees Buttermilk Battle

After a narrow victory in round one, round two starts with me putting on lotion. Wait, let me restate that. It starts with me attempting to put on lotion. As I squirt the lotion in my hands in preperation, Audrey starts her 'intimidation routine' - she lifts her feet and legs up towards the ceiling and SLAMS them down on the changing table repeatedly as if she was a bull kicking up dirt with her hooves. Instead of trying to use her effective rolling defense (since that would allow me to lotion up her back and butt with ease) she chooses to use more of a 'grapling defense'. I usually try to take all the lotion I've squirted in my hand and ration it out on her body before actually rubbing it in...putting some on each leg, majority on her belly, some on each shoulder, then using what I have left in my hands to rub into her face and neck.

As I start, Audrey's variety of grapling moves reminds me of when I used to watch Royce execute his Jiu-Jitsu moves on people. As I said, I put the first portion of the lotion on Audrey's legs. She responds by kicking them wildly in an attempt to avoid my hands. This part I usually 'win' with ease. I then move to put some lotion on her belly and she immediately locks her legs around my arm, and grabs my hand with both her hands. It looks as if this 15 pound fighter is trying to 'submit' me by applying an arm bar. She wiggles, squeezes, cinches up her legs, and scowls at me as I struggle to attempt to free my hand while still keeping some of the lotion on it to apply to her shoulders and face. I usually 'escape' the submission hold with a little lotion on my hand. I quickly brush each shoulder leaving some lotion there for later use, then move to her face and neck. As I start to rub her cheeks, she frantically grabs my hands/wrists with her hands desperately trying to pull them off her face. She even resorts to trying to bite my fingers...what a dirty fighter! Then she puts her chin down to her chest to make sure I can't get at her neck, showing exellent defense against a rear naked choke submission. Yes she is naked, but no I'm not trying to choke her to sleep, although sometimes I wonder if that might be easier ;)

As I finish up her neck, I move to her arms. She instantly makes fists to make sure it's difficult for me to apply lotion to her hands. At the same time, she's brought her arms to her chest in an attempt to prevent me from rubbing on the underside of each of her arms. It's like prying open a vice to get her arms away from her body, all the while she's frantically wrapping her legs around which ever one of my arms comes within proximity of her legs A.K.A. her second set of arms. I mean come on, she's got as much flexibility and dexterity in her legs and feet as I've got in my arms and hands. It's an unfair advantage...I'm fighting a mutant!

I'll call this round a Draw as I'm too tired to deal with lotioning up her back.

Round 3: Huggies Hostility

After the first two rounds, now my hands and Audrey are both all 'greased' up from the lotion. She know's she has the advantage in this round. It would be easier for me to get two hot knifes and try to pick up a pound of butter with them than trying to keep a grip on Audrey. As I try to lift her up to put the diaper under her butt, she squirms and wiggles, pulls out the 'rolling defense' when appropriate, basically just makes it harder than hell for me to get the diaper under her in the right spot. The round goes like this...I lift her up, she 'defends', and I set her down 'almost' in the right spot for the diaper. As I reach for the diaper to adjust it to where it needs to be, she simultaneously starts scooting backwards off the diaper or kicks the diaper forward depending on her position on the mat...er changing table. After four or five attempts I finally get it in a position that is 'acceptable'. I fasten one side of the diaper while fighting off an arm bar attempt from Audrey. As I go for the other side of the diaper, she RIPS of the fastened side of the diaper with a lightening quick motion that only looked like a blur to me. I have to resort to the dirty moves now. I move in for the tickle torture (but only as a last resort). I start tickling her armpits and neck until she is intent on defending them and I quickly go in and finish off the diaper.

Another victory for Dad.

Round 4: PJ Push-n-Pull

Now we are entering Audrey's most dominant round. I have to make sure to be on my 'A Game' when I start this round because I have to be fast, I have to be precise, I have to be cunning, and I have to be strong! As I attempt to put Audrey's PJs (the big one piece ones with footies) on, for every single position I'm trying to put her in, she knows the exact opposite. I start with the feet. As I grab her leg to put it in the leg/foot hole of the PJs she straightens her body out as if rigamortis has set into her body. It is so stiff, I feel like I'm going to snap her leg when trying to bend it to get it into the hole. Once I finally get it into the hole, if she'd straighen out again, it'd pop right into the leg, but no. Now she keeps them bent and loose. Starts kicking, bouncing her butt/pelvis, and scooting backwards trying to get out of the PJs. We go back and forth for a bit, but the legs are usually pretty easy.

I move up to the arms, and again she does the rigamortis defense while I try to get her arms in the holes, but given that half of her PJs are already on, it makes it much harder to manipulate. Fighting through Audrey's wrestling defense (lifting shoulder/arm towards the ceiling), I finally bend the 2x4's that used to be her arms and get one of her hands in a sleeve. Once again, Audrey does the exact opposite of what would be helpful. As if Audrey bending her arm and clincing it to her chest like a vice wasn't bad enough, when I try to get her arm through the sleeve, she's also opened up her hands as far as her fingers will go. So it's like pulling a completely swallowed barbed, three prong hook from the stomach of fish - yanking its guts out purely from force. Of course I have to be a little more gentle with my fish...er, fighter...er, daughter as I don't want Social Services busting down my door for me busting Audrey's fingers while pulling the sleeve over her hand. And that was just one arm!

I battle my way through the other arm and by now, Audrey's kicked out one of her legs from the PJs while she had me distracted with her arms. I go back to my tickle torture to distract her for a minute and force the leg back in and zip up her PJs. The war is over and Dad is declared victor again!

I grab Audrey off the mat and start to walk out of her room with her. She's a total sportswoman as she now hugs me and smiles, holding no grudges against me for our heated battle...she know's she gets a rematch tomorrow night!

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about." - Anonymous

Life is going by incredibly fast right now with a 2.5 year old and an 8 month old - the weeks are just flying by. I am Joshua's daily playmate - it is so magical to play with him. He has such an imagination and gets so immersed into whatever he's doing. He teaches me so much about the world from his innocent perspective. Audrey is in cuddly cute mode right now and I can't get enough of her and she can't get enough of me either - a true mommy's girl on top of going through the normal 6-12 month attachment phase.

Joshua and Audrey are also starting to enjoy each other as siblings more and more everyday. Joshua, by far, can make Audrey laugh the hardest out of all of us. It cracks me up when those two get going on a giggle streak. I also thoroughly enjoy my quiet time with each of them whether it be nursing Audrey in the rocking chair, or reading books to Joshua before naptime and bedtime. It's so relaxing for me to sit in a chair and hold Joshua or Audrey or both - they are so darn sweet when they want to cuddle and snuggle.

I keep telling myself to hold onto these precious moments, because Joshua and Audrey are growing so quickly.